XXI•Q |4| What do you want your final words to be?
I always say to people that if I die right now that I would soooooo frustrated. I would be at the gates asking the Saints - "You sure it's my time?"
I have so much to do. I am no where near finished with the work that I am purposed to do. Dying right now would be a major inconvenience, not only for me but for the lives of people that I am destined to mentor and change.
Essentially, if is it my time to go, how can I fight that?
I want to leave behind a legacy. I want people to know that my heart and my intentions were pure. I wanted to help. I wanted to be a change agent. I wanted to mold lives and help people learn to love themselves in spite of others who don't believe they are worth it.
We all have some level of damage. We all suffer some sort of tragedy or trauma. I want to help people heal. I want to help people live.
So as dissatisfying as it is to think about the end of my life, it is inevitable. I think I would want my last words to be something to the effect of - "I did what was meaningful to me and of purpose to society." or "I finished my tasks."
I want a level of satisfaction to wash over me and my surrounding loved ones when it is my time. I want to know, and what them to know as well, that I was pleased with the work that I did while I was here. I want them to be reminded that I did what was fulfilling to me. I lived and walked in my purpose Every. Single. Day. I loved hard, without fear of pain, I laughed without consequence and I embraced long enough to pass love through a hug.
I was passionate about my mission and my drive showed that each and every day. My last words should reflect that. My last words should indicate that, very clearly, no matter when they are said.
This kind of taps back to our first question as it relates to living a meaningful life. The question is phrased as "What do you want your last words to be?" but I think it really forces me to consider the life that I am living and the legacy I am leaving behind.
I hate thinking about my death - or the death of anyone close to me for several reasons. Initially because I struggled with suicidal thoughts for so long. I didn't think I was good enough. I didn't think I deserved to live. I sincerely believed that if I was to die right now that life would go on as expected and no one would bat an eye. Thinking about that in and of itself is painful. I can't believe I thought any of that to be true. Secondly, thoughts of my death become disheartening because of all the work I have done to pull myself out of that dark place. There was nothing but death in that space. Everything around me was dying, slowly. I am not there any more and I now accept death as a part of life, the final part. Took a lot of work to get there, but HEY YALL, I'm here!
In closing, my final words should be something encouraging and peaceful. I want to be remembered through other people for my accomplishments, my mistakes, my trials, my errors but most importantly for my passion.
I know this is a heavy one, but gimme what ya got!!
best,
aja moon
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