Hmmm...
As a newlywed, I think this is one of those questions that has been answered several times in pre-marital counseling. We go over our wants and needs, a full list of requirements for the other person - our perfect partner.
My perfect partner respects me. I can handle an ugly lie long before I can handle a beautiful truth. Many people say that, but they don't truly mean it. I don't think people are hardwired for the truth. I think they are more hardwired for validation. If you really consider the number of people who post their unsolicited opinions on social media and then proceed to argue with adverse responses in the comments section, you will soon realize the weight of what I am saying. People don't want the truth, they can't handle the truth. But I can and this is what I choose and I expect from my perfect partner.
When I say respect, I mean he respects me enough to be honest with me. That pure level of honesty. I don't want him to tell me what he thinks I want to hear, I want him to tell me the truth. However, with him being able to tell me the truth, he has to be comfortable enough to tell me the truth.
So, in that regard, my perfect partner has to be comfortable with a level of vulnerability and I have to provide that safe space for him. This part is a partnership. It is equal parts on both sides. The work, the good work.
Finally, (for this post), my perfect partner has to be funny. The list can get pretty long and pretty heavy but I felt that this was a good place to leave it. Sense of humor is super important to me. I prefer to be with someone who can laugh and joke and our time spent together is joyful and jubilant. I love deep thinkers and I love philosophers (even if they are self-proclaimed) but if we can't laugh our hearts out at something together, then it's just not for me.
Thanks for letting me share my thoughts. I promise to return to this and add my list in entirety,
How should you be treated?
best,
aja moon
Click the photo below for a link to the guidelines for posting in the comments section and a sneak peak of the questions that we will be exploring over the next three weeks.
